Cat and Joel's Autumnal Barn Wedding at Cain Manor in Hampshire
THE LOVE STORY
How and where did you first meet?
To take you on a quick trip through our family tree, Joel is my sister’s, husbands’s BFF. Got that? For that reason, Joel & I met several times over the years at celebrations and gatherings. We’ve always been right under each other noses but neither of us knew that we’d end up as husband & wife! Sometimes, I still can’t believe it now, almost a year later. I guess it isn’t always love at first sight!
What were your first impressions of each other?
It is so long ago now that, to be really honest, I don’t even remember! Funnily enough though, my sister and brother-in-law or “The Coopers” as we call them, always thought that I found Joel annoying and didn’t like him at all. It wouldn’t be the first romance in history that started with a girl and an annoying guy!
Here’s a snip from my wedding speech:
“Before dating, “The Coopers” always thought I saw Joel as their annoying, third wheel friend. Thich wasn’t exactly accurate at the time but now, well they’re spot on! Joel, you have an incredible talent of annoying me and pushing my buttons, then somehow, making me smile and laugh before I’ve even had time to finish being mad at you.”
“We’ve always been right under each other noses but neither of us knew that we’d end up as husband & wife”
When did you know you were in love or that your partner was "the one"?
It was back in Summer of 2022 when Joel and I got chatting. We’d always known of each other but never really spoken much - just here and there in passing. He was the annoying third wheel, after all. Once we started speaking to each other more regularly, we just clicked. It felt easy, uncomplicated and our personalities, values and sense of humour aligned. Joel counts himself lucky; he got away with the nervous task of ‘meet the parents’, as he had already met and knew my family.
Tell us about your first date
Our first date all started with an M&S ‘picky bits’ picnic in Reigate, Priory Park. It was relaxed and local and we had popped to the shops to pick up nibbles and drinks before heading to the park. We walked around for some time and afterwards, just sat under the summer sun, laughing and gossiping all day long. Priory Park has now become a favourite place for us; so much so that we started a Christmas tradition. Each year we go for a cold, wintery walk there on Christmas Eve, as we got engaged during the festive season.
How did the proposal happen? Who asked, and where?
In December 2023 we had a festive mini-cruise booked, and travelled to both Amsterdam and Bruge. Amsterdam has touches of nostalgia for Joel, as his mum’s family originates from Indonesia, which was once a Dutch colony. It was in this vibrant and beautiful city that Joel had planned to propose. On a Monday afternoon, after walking some 30,000 steps without reaching his intended spot, he found himself carrying the ring aimlessly. The next day, during a visit to the Eye Museum, Joel proposed at the playful flip book selfie station that he'd discovered on Instagram. We captured the moment in a keepsake that we can now cherish forever.
“It felt like a huge dinner party in a home away from home. Although Joel was glad to not have done the cooking!”
THE BIG DAY
How did you choose your wedding venue and what made it the perfect fit?
I’ve always loved the rustic charm and romance of Cain Manor. The driveway leading to the venue is simply stunning whatever the season yet with the ancient ferns, red woods and autumnal leaves in October, it is so easy to fall in love with during the later months of the year. Walking through the main door, Cain feels like home. A warm hug. It was the perfect place to host the greatest celebration of our lives.
Cain Manor had everything for us. We loved that the ceremony was held in the music room and that we could enjoy our drinks reception in the library and outside patio. It was a beautiful autumnal day! The stunning grounds provided SO many photo opportunities, which are now precious memories to look back on. Having the food and drinks wrapped into the package was stress-free and there was plenty of options to choose from; both for our canapes and wedding breakfast. We loved that the drinks reception offered bottomless prosecco too, which ours guests thoroughly enjoyed - and made the most of!
“In 2021, before I was even engaged... I commented on the post as the dress was pure perfection ...Hannah replied, “remember this name…LO-MA-SI””
The tasting experience, which acts as a date night during the wedding planning, was a real highlight. It gave us great confidence in the quality of the food and lots of inspiration for our big day. The planning team were simply fantastic; from the first enquire to the final goodbye. Their online planning system helped to keep all of our ideas and details in one place. It made everything from planning to pricing very transparent, and easy to understand. We also loved that our friends & family could stay on site with us and enjoy breakfast together the next morning. Having a venue with accommodation was important to us so the whole feeling and function of Cain Manor, just suited us perfectly. It was wonderful to let the celebrations flow into the following morning and as there was not another wedding on that day, we were able to upgrade to a late checkout.
What was the inspiration behind your wedding's theme, decor, and colours?
We love hosting dinner parties at our home. I have a ‘thing’ about using our champagne charger plates when we have guests over and we were able to source fifty of them - thanks to Facebook and Vinted - for our wedding breakfast. It felt like a huge dinner party in a home away from home, though Joel was glad to not have done the cooking! Regarding the colour palette, we pulled a lot of ideas from Pinterest and Instagram. ‘Sage’ felt like an easy go-to option for us, our style and the decor of the barn. Colourful, yet neutral and timeless for photographs. We combined sage tapered candles, black candle holders, champagne charger plates and champagne chair sashes. The black gave us that little sharpness and warmth which we felt was perfect for the time of year.
THE WEDDING DRESS
What were you looking for in a wedding dress?
When I started dress shopping, I kept our wedding date - the 27th October - in mind. As a bride who is known for always being cold and forever in my purple dressing gown, I assumed I would want long sleeves. When it came to the style, I was open-minded and I know from friends that it is often the style you don’t think of, that surprises you most! I either wanted something beautiful and simple in satin, or laced with texture and detailing. Completely opposite!
How did you choose the bridal boutiques you wanted to visit?
I searched online with a budget in mind. Given that our date was ten months away, I thought that buying off the rack would be best, which would also help to keep the price down. I knew BRIDE by Aster was the ‘go to’ Surrey bridal boutique having met Hannah years ago through the industry. It was simply a must visit - plus, their epic seasonal sale was a bonus! I had also followed their Instagram account for many years and loved the textured dresses by their designer Anny Lin. They were one of only a handful of boutiques in the country with this unusual brand and I knew I had to try them on.
Funnily enough, in 2021 before I was even engaged, I saw an instagram post of an unbelievable, couture wedding dress that Hannah had displayed in her window. I commented on the post as the dress was pure perfection and Hannah replied, “remember this name…LO-MA-SI”.
Cut to my appointment. My experience with Hannah, was second to none. I felt so relaxed and the absolute, undivided attention and exclusive use of her beautiful Dorking boutique, was truly an experience that I’ll never forget. I ended up finding my dress and you’ll never guess which one I chose. It was ‘LOMASI’. The couture dress I saw all those years ago and the one that Hannah told me to remember. It was like an incredible and beautiful twist of fate and it was such a special moment saying yes, to my wedding dress.
How many boutiques did you visit on your dress journey and how did you know you had found THE ONE?
BRIDE by Aster was the second boutique that I visited. After trying on the Anny Lin designs and knowing I found THE one, I cancelled the two other boutiques that I had booked. I felt full of emotion, particularly whilst trying on two Anny Lin dresses. I wasn’t sure how I could decide between them! I thought I may have to go away and think before making a commitment. It was only then when looking at the photos my sister captured of the two options, that I knew which one I truly loved. Once the veil was on and tears were flowing, I knew this was it. ‘Lomasi’ was coming home with me!
What accessories did you choose and where did you buy them?
After originally trying on a cathedral length, pearl embellished veil, I decided to wear my sisters finger tip length veil instead. It was embellished with small pearls and sparkles which I felt suited the dress best - it was also a very special ‘something borrowed’. I decided to remove the straps from the dress, so wanted to use the veil to cover my shoulders and the tops of my arms, so I didn’t feel so bare. The double layer fingertip length was perfect to add some volume but not draw attention away from the beautiful, textured detailing that the dress had - both front and back.
Did you enjoy dress shopping? Any especially good or not so good experiences?
I loved dress shopping! From phone-scrolling at home, to the drives with my mum and sister, to the trying on. The experience at BRIDE by Aster was truly so special. From having the entire shop to yourself for two hours with the teams’ undivided attention, the leopard print slippers on arrival, the adorable ‘peg system’ that they have, to select dresses you wanted to try - it was just everything that I feel a bride could ask for. Although a small boutique, there’s so many options but also, not too many that it’s over whelming or jam-packed and impossible to see them on the racks (which I had experienced elsewhere).
When it came to trying the dresses on, Hannah has a great system of letting you step into the dress alone, so there isn’t any awkwardness or worries if you’re body conscious. Hannah and the team are so body positive and know their stuff that I instantly felt at ease with them.
How did you feel walking down the aisle in your dress and what did your partner think?
I felt oddly calm whilst waiting just outside the door before walking down the aisle. Ididn’t really know what to expect but I really was very calm! I was filled with love watching my little niece and newphew walk hand-in-hand down the aisle first, followed by my sister. I loved ‘my moment’ - entering the ceremony room with my dad on my arm and being surrounded by the smiling faces of our loved ones. By the time I reached the end of the aisle, Joel was very emotional! Winner!
ADVICE & REFLECTION
What was the most challenging part of the wedding planning process?
It was a bit of a struggle to find a date that suited us as well as our ‘key’ guests. We wanted to get married in October but as that only gave a ten month lead time, some of our nearest and dearest, had already planned their winter holidays. We had to do a fair amount of back and forth to make sure, that everyone who we wanted there, could actually attend!
What advice would you give to other couples who are currently planning their wedding?
My advice would be to focus on what truly matters to you both. What elements do you not want to compromise on and what are you happy to let slide. This is a once in a lifetime, so make sure you run with your ideas. Consider your guest list and invite who you want. Try to avoid feeling pressured into inviting those who you just don’t want to. Lastly, my top tip is that Excel can - surprisingly - be your best friend! I listed all of the elements that I could think of from the venue to attire, flowers to finishing touches. I then had an ‘estimated’ column which help gauge what we needed to save, along with an ‘actual spend’ column to help keep track of expenses. It was really valuable to keep our expenditure ‘mostly’ on track.
Is there anything you would have done differently about your wedding?
Looking at weddings nowadays, trends have already changed within just a year. I LOVE the Lambeth style heart cakes and disco ball vibes, so if we were in the planning stages now, I can see they’d feature on my Pinterest board!
What was the best purchase you made for your wedding? (Item or Service)
100% our fantastic Photographer, Suzy Elizabeth Photography and Videographer, Sylvestris Wedding Films. After the wedding you come away with incredible memories, but it’s the photos and video that you have to physically look back on. Our day was beautifully captured by them both and our living room is filled with frame photos from our day.
SUPPLIER SPOTLIGHT
Dress - ‘Lomasi’ by Anny Lin
Suit's - Moss Bros
Venue – Cain Manor
Photographer – Suzy Elizabeth Photography
Videographer/Content Creator – Sylvestris Wedding Films
Make-Up Artist – (I did my own, but highly recommend the Charlotte Tilbury Masterclasses for brides doing their own makeup. It’s a great session where you book a 1.5hr slot for a 1-2-1 with a MUA and then you get to spend the price of the session on the products. In a sense it’s like paying for the products and getting a bonus tutorial tailored to you. Plus a lovely girls outing with a glass of prosecco!)
Florist – Mad Lillies, Banstead
Cake Maker – M&S
Stationery – DIY by the Bride
Other Suppliers – Magician – Dean Jorgensen Magician